Headed For Self Destruction

As usual here on the east coast crowds of people can be found all over from the busy sidewalks of the inner city to rest stops off the parkways and turnpikes. As I observe several people talking I hear the self demoralizing things they say. I can't help but turn in look in that direction and wonder what caused this pain to become part of their life? What is it that caused this person to think so lowly of themselves? Who is it that was so powerful as to give this person these types of thoughts? As these questions race through my mind I think ask myself, if they knew God would I see the same type of self worth coming from their mouth? As I sat amongst the congregation that following Sunday it was heart breaking as I looked around and noticing several relationships I had with different members and realizing the harsh words I have heard coming from their mouth about themselves. I began to reflect on myself and realized at times I was down on myself as well. So then I ask myself, what drives those of us to say more positive things than others? I'm not perfect but I would say that I'm a pretty honest guy who is straight forward and at times I can say things that offend people. I guess its true honesty hurts. I realized within most who are down on themselves is a lack of self confidence. I began to ask questions of those who I had access to that seemed to never think they were good enough, pretty enough, strong enough, smart enough etc. and found that many of them this links back to their childhood. These issues went back to a childhood relationship that scared these types of people even as adults. Most grow up in an atmosphere where they received their fair share of teasing, name calling, and pranks so who is it that some make out of this ordeal unharmed and more prepared to sustain and remain standing with self confidence then others? In this world there is reason for just about everything and those things I can't find reason for I believe that God has allowed those things to happen. So what is the reason?

The reason for the lack of self confidence is they are still living on the words spoken to them years ago, they lack the ability to mend those relationships and the hurt remains self evident. The weekly out poor of self destructing words continues to plague their life and cause them to be saddened and in many cases depressed. The answer to resolve the situation is simple, they must change as the bible tells us "be ye renewed by the changing of your mind" this scripture has pointed out the road map to success not only in this particular situation but all situations. Now you ask how I change my mind to think differently. You must first treat this as you do anything else you want to change. If you want to lose weight you stop eating certain foods and begin to work out. If you want to become proficient in another language you begin to attempt to speak that language and label things around the house as well as maybe surround yourself with people who speak that language fluently. If you want to become close to God you spend time on your face praying more and talking more with our savior. To that I say if you want to change your mind to become more self efficient and confident you must practice by stopping yourself from saying negative things and replacing that thought and forcing yourself to say something positive. If necessary go do something that makes you feel good once a week, women get your nails done or feet done and men treat yourself to a new hair cut or sport coat. The second thing you have to do is follow the command of God who says in his word "love your neighbor as you love yourself" How can you love your neighbor with no self respect. If you demoralize yourself then you lack self respect ultimately causing yourself to disobey the word of God. I challenge you all to speak positive things about yourself into the atmosphere and I guarantee as the negatives disappear and the positives come out you will begin to feel more loved and appreciated. Change your inner circle to surround yourself with positive thoughts and lesson the ones who seek to self-destruct right along with you.

 

May God Have His Way With Me Daily

My husband/wife wants to be babied

January 2009 can you believe it's another year gone? It's been some time now since I posted so I decided it's high time to start taking my writings serious and post weekly. I'm sure something I have to say can be beneficial to somebody in the world. My objective here in the next few post will be to inspire relationships. It appears that with the struggling economy comes stress at home for many married couples. I urge all married couples to shut off the T.V., turn down the radio, ask the kids to leave the room, and get yourself ready to make some major changes to improve your marriage.

Listen I know what you're saying, "there is nothing that could save our marriage!" as you begin to read your mind is wondering what does this guy know about marriage. For many maybe I don't have anything to offer, to others who are patient enough and try some of things mentioned will see improvement over the next few weeks. When things start to tumble we begin focusing everything on the bad that's happening in the relationship rather than focusing on what could improve the relationship. At this point I'm guessing you feel completely alone and if not then another person is filling the void your spouse once filled. Sure at the start of it all you both felt loved and were completely into each other as if nothing else in the world mattered much at all. Naturally it seems these are normally the happiest days of our relationship and we yearn for them to touch our soul. The question you're now asking yourself is, "So how do I get that feeling back?" The answer to that question is not easy to fulfill.

First thing you have to do is remove self from the picture and realize that if you make your spouse happy then happiness will come to you. For those who have kids imagine the love you have for that child, just for a moment think how you would go to the ends of the earth to insure that child's happiness. Now think about how great you feel when you child is happy. Think about the smile on your face the inner peace that becomes self evident as you tell your co-workers how proud you are of that child. Now think back to when you first married your spouse and how you had that same inner peace and ran and told all your girlfriends about him/her. You never stop and give up on a child so don't give up on your marriage. What you must do is study your partner, and find out what they complain about most. Is it the way you talk, how you dress, the things not done around the house, how you spend all the money, or not enough sexual pleasure. Once you begin to figure out what all the nagging is about it's much like a newborn baby who just wants their diaper changed suddenly the baby is quite and your satisfied once again and happy. You have to find that thing that will make your spouse happy in turn you will become more full field and your spouse will start to learn and do the things that make you happy.

I say for the next month give this a try as I will also and lets see what kind of results we can achieve. Don't tell your spouse you are attempting this just do it and record their feed back and watch as things change around the house.