Headed For Self Destruction

As usual here on the east coast crowds of people can be found all over from the busy sidewalks of the inner city to rest stops off the parkways and turnpikes. As I observe several people talking I hear the self demoralizing things they say. I can't help but turn in look in that direction and wonder what caused this pain to become part of their life? What is it that caused this person to think so lowly of themselves? Who is it that was so powerful as to give this person these types of thoughts? As these questions race through my mind I think ask myself, if they knew God would I see the same type of self worth coming from their mouth? As I sat amongst the congregation that following Sunday it was heart breaking as I looked around and noticing several relationships I had with different members and realizing the harsh words I have heard coming from their mouth about themselves. I began to reflect on myself and realized at times I was down on myself as well. So then I ask myself, what drives those of us to say more positive things than others? I'm not perfect but I would say that I'm a pretty honest guy who is straight forward and at times I can say things that offend people. I guess its true honesty hurts. I realized within most who are down on themselves is a lack of self confidence. I began to ask questions of those who I had access to that seemed to never think they were good enough, pretty enough, strong enough, smart enough etc. and found that many of them this links back to their childhood. These issues went back to a childhood relationship that scared these types of people even as adults. Most grow up in an atmosphere where they received their fair share of teasing, name calling, and pranks so who is it that some make out of this ordeal unharmed and more prepared to sustain and remain standing with self confidence then others? In this world there is reason for just about everything and those things I can't find reason for I believe that God has allowed those things to happen. So what is the reason?

The reason for the lack of self confidence is they are still living on the words spoken to them years ago, they lack the ability to mend those relationships and the hurt remains self evident. The weekly out poor of self destructing words continues to plague their life and cause them to be saddened and in many cases depressed. The answer to resolve the situation is simple, they must change as the bible tells us "be ye renewed by the changing of your mind" this scripture has pointed out the road map to success not only in this particular situation but all situations. Now you ask how I change my mind to think differently. You must first treat this as you do anything else you want to change. If you want to lose weight you stop eating certain foods and begin to work out. If you want to become proficient in another language you begin to attempt to speak that language and label things around the house as well as maybe surround yourself with people who speak that language fluently. If you want to become close to God you spend time on your face praying more and talking more with our savior. To that I say if you want to change your mind to become more self efficient and confident you must practice by stopping yourself from saying negative things and replacing that thought and forcing yourself to say something positive. If necessary go do something that makes you feel good once a week, women get your nails done or feet done and men treat yourself to a new hair cut or sport coat. The second thing you have to do is follow the command of God who says in his word "love your neighbor as you love yourself" How can you love your neighbor with no self respect. If you demoralize yourself then you lack self respect ultimately causing yourself to disobey the word of God. I challenge you all to speak positive things about yourself into the atmosphere and I guarantee as the negatives disappear and the positives come out you will begin to feel more loved and appreciated. Change your inner circle to surround yourself with positive thoughts and lesson the ones who seek to self-destruct right along with you.

 

May God Have His Way With Me Daily

My husband/wife wants to be babied

January 2009 can you believe it's another year gone? It's been some time now since I posted so I decided it's high time to start taking my writings serious and post weekly. I'm sure something I have to say can be beneficial to somebody in the world. My objective here in the next few post will be to inspire relationships. It appears that with the struggling economy comes stress at home for many married couples. I urge all married couples to shut off the T.V., turn down the radio, ask the kids to leave the room, and get yourself ready to make some major changes to improve your marriage.

Listen I know what you're saying, "there is nothing that could save our marriage!" as you begin to read your mind is wondering what does this guy know about marriage. For many maybe I don't have anything to offer, to others who are patient enough and try some of things mentioned will see improvement over the next few weeks. When things start to tumble we begin focusing everything on the bad that's happening in the relationship rather than focusing on what could improve the relationship. At this point I'm guessing you feel completely alone and if not then another person is filling the void your spouse once filled. Sure at the start of it all you both felt loved and were completely into each other as if nothing else in the world mattered much at all. Naturally it seems these are normally the happiest days of our relationship and we yearn for them to touch our soul. The question you're now asking yourself is, "So how do I get that feeling back?" The answer to that question is not easy to fulfill.

First thing you have to do is remove self from the picture and realize that if you make your spouse happy then happiness will come to you. For those who have kids imagine the love you have for that child, just for a moment think how you would go to the ends of the earth to insure that child's happiness. Now think about how great you feel when you child is happy. Think about the smile on your face the inner peace that becomes self evident as you tell your co-workers how proud you are of that child. Now think back to when you first married your spouse and how you had that same inner peace and ran and told all your girlfriends about him/her. You never stop and give up on a child so don't give up on your marriage. What you must do is study your partner, and find out what they complain about most. Is it the way you talk, how you dress, the things not done around the house, how you spend all the money, or not enough sexual pleasure. Once you begin to figure out what all the nagging is about it's much like a newborn baby who just wants their diaper changed suddenly the baby is quite and your satisfied once again and happy. You have to find that thing that will make your spouse happy in turn you will become more full field and your spouse will start to learn and do the things that make you happy.

I say for the next month give this a try as I will also and lets see what kind of results we can achieve. Don't tell your spouse you are attempting this just do it and record their feed back and watch as things change around the house.

Check Your GPS

A few men were in the wilderness with plenty of food to eat and water to drink. The men had warm clothes to protect their skin from the weather. The men were well prepared for the venture. The men had tools to hunt and knowledge of the land to scavenge and survive. It came a day when the men ventured to an area they had not seen and as the light grew dim and the darkness fell they began to panic. They were unprepared for such an event to happen. One of them was prepared with a GPS or Global Positioning System to track his way back to the destination where they had set up camp. As the group read the GPS it gave them a precise layout of the land, which in turn gave direction on what route to head based on landmarks and other terrain. The men eventually made it back safe to the correct familiar path after being lost in the wilderness.
This holds true for the Christian man as well; we have a support group within the body of Christ. Each man tends to get lost in the wilderness from time to time and it’s the duty of the prepared one to pull out his GPS or Gods Positioning System and lead the lost back to a familiar road. The Holy Spirit dwells with in us and this is our internal GPS, the bible serves as a physical GPS to direct our lives, while prayer and quite time listening to what God has for us as the third Christian GPS. Do not take lightly to the things of God, as he has stated in his word, “ask and you shall receive”. I say to you follow your GPS!

Follow The Plans

Each Day starts with your eyes opening for most of us the sun shines brightly through the curtains as you rest in your bed. You may yawn and stretch, as you get ready for another day of blessing. Your mind has a preconditioned idea of what is to come of the day, work, a little reading time, lunch, dinner, and a short conversation with the one you love. The future looks about the same for the rest of your life. You have a set time to visit family and friends for that much needed vacation and for the most part we have our life all planed out. We know where we came from but do you really know where you are going? We have things called planners and organizers that are suppose to get our lives in order, and in today’s fast society they developed the smart phone. Imagine that a phone, planner, and small computer all in one, life can’t get easier to plan with these types of tools. Your weekly planner may look something like this:
Monday: Workout 7am
Work 9am
Grocery Shop 5pm
Dinner Date 7pm
TV/Movie Time 9pm
Tuesday: Workout 7am
Work 9am
Prayer Meeting 5:30pm
Visit Mom 7pm
Son’s Game 8pm
Wednesday: Workout 7am
Work 9am
Bible study w/Pastor 7pm
Thursday: Workout 7am
Work 9am
Men’s Night 6pm
Friday: Workout 7am
Work 9am
Couples Date Night 8pm

As this shows what the average working Americans plans for the week may be. These individual plans are just that created for the individual by the individual without any type of guidance. Could it be that there is a pre-set time for you for a pre-destined moment? Could it be that you are placed here for a purpose to be fulfilled? We are told in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, “declares the LORD,” plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Plans can be broken down to P-pre, L-life, A-awareness, N-navigation, S-system. Prior to our human existence God knew us, he was aware of what his plans were for our life and he has a system to navigate us in order for us to prosper, gain hope and to have a future. When things are getting rough and the darkness appears before us, the bills are not getting paid and we are ready to get up and move, keep in mind this one thing! Is this your desire or is it PRE LIFE AWARENESS NAVIGATION SYSTEM, the plans God has for your life? The season you are in may be needed for God to prosper you. The season you are currently in can give you hope that there may be a brighter future. Before any major decision pray that you follow God’s PRE LIFE AWARENESS NAVIGATION SYSTEM!

- May God Have Way With Me Daily -

Painted Picture

Is the truth such a scary thing that we despise the day it is spoken among the masses? Does a picture paint a thousand words? On the surface the picture you see may be symbolic of maybe a scenic view or of the busy city on a Monday afternoon. Naked to the human eye is the robust melody of cars moving swiftly past as the people move courageously through the streets as if they are hands gracefully playing the piano each finger representing a person. Unaware of the foul stench that lurks from the sewers beneath as each food stand is passed the aroma of food floats into each persons nostrils as if sucked in a vacuum. The mere taste of every aroma is as different as ice cream on a Sunday afternoon to warm coco on a winter snow day. The feel of the hard concrete pounds the bottom of each passers foot. The shocks on every vehicle are worn from the constant bouncing as they fall in and out of each grave hole.

Now that I have implanted this vision in your head, ask yourself again does a picture paint a thousand words? The picture leaves to the imagination so many things for the individual to decide that there is really no definitive answer. Yet when faced with life we must answer that exact question. Is everything really what it seems to be from our eyesight? Once you have received solid facts then is when we must react so no false action is given. To react prior to gathering the facts is only leaving an open door to what might have been closed had more time been taken and words not rushed. “Patients is a virtue,” they say; I say it’s a must to operate in life. I say without patients you get what they call in the programming world as syntax errors or to us errors.

The truth can be learned, sometimes not as quickly as we would like but eventually it will come to surface and justice will prevail. Jesus himself was persecuted for speaking the truth and yet beaten, ridiculed, made a mock and then nailed to the cross as he faced his fleshly death. Jesus still rose from the dead and ascended into the heaves. You to can still rise! When you are under the pressures of life’s obstacles and you have tried your best to bring forth the truth and yet you are beaten, ridiculed, made a mock and nailed to your cross remember what Jesus has done! Remember that he died for our sins so we may live! Remember that you must die to the flesh and follow the spirit! The good book tells us, “he will not lie more on you then you can bare…” keep your focus as you go forth!

- May God Have His Way With Me Daily -

Friends

What I want you to do before you read further is make a list of your top ten friends. No seriously get a pen and paper and write them down. As you read this cross those people off your list who do not apply to what a friend is. At the end of this exercise you are blessed to have 3 or more people left. What is the difference between a friend and an associate? How can you become someone’s friend? Do both parties have to consider themselves friends? Do we say we have to many friends who are really associates or could it be we say we have to many associates and not enough friends? Friend, how do you really define the word friend? Well according to Encarta dictionary a friend is “somebody emotionally close: somebody who trusts and is found of another.” To take that a step further a friend is a person who you would trust your life with. Taking this into consideration knocks a whole lot of people off my friends list. Lets be honest how many people do you call friends really have your best interest at hand. A true friend is that person who is going to tell you the truth even when you don’t want to hear it, or tell you he or she is not the one when you think they really are. Now don’t mistake this for those people who are just out to cause problems because your happy. The key is they have your best interest at hand. Now what is this word associate? An associate per Encarta dictionary is, “to be connected with somebody or something: to allow yourself to be connected with somebody or something, or voluntarily connect yourself with somebody or something.” This does not say anything about emotionally being envolved or trusting someone. Associates are those people who you know who really don’t have your concerns at hand. They are the people who you may communicate with often but really should not go to for advise. Your boss is your associate, that kid you talk to at work is your associate, most of your family memembers are really associates because you don’t communicate with them enough on an intamte level, and most of the people you call friends are likely associates. If a person has verbally abused you they are not your friend, mark them off your list. If a person has physically abused you they are not your friend mark them off your list. If you do not talk to this person at least once a month mark them off your list. Friends do communicate often with each other! If you have not seen this person in the past 12 months mark them off your list. If you have verbally or physically abused this person mark them off your list. If you would not leave your kids with this person mark them off your list. Now sit back and thank God for anyone on your list that is not crossed off. Oh and by the way this is a great way to decide if a person is worthy of a serious relationship before engagement or marriage, if they are not your friend then they are not your husband or wife.

-May God Have His Way With Me Daily -

DEPRESSION

What does it mean to really be depressed? Well the word is defined as low in spirits and dejected. This definition says nothing about the mental or the psyche of the human brain so this disease, this problem, this attack or this contagious thing has to be greater than what the human mind can understand. We have to attack this problem on a more spiritual level. We surely don’t become depressed when our physical is in a happy state but how does our physical become happy or depressed you are asking? It starts with improper or proper care of the spiritual. As we develop physically our spiritual is growing also, we develop relationships in the natural and spiritual ties in the spiritual realm. Romans 2:17 speaks' of a relationship with God. God is not a physical character that we can touch; he can reveal himself to us in the physical although he is a spirit. Depression becomes a problem when the spiritual ties that are upon us are not in good relationship with God or when our own spirit is not in good relationship with God. The heaviness that is felt from within is our spirit-man crying out for the affection that is missing in ones life. What is missing is the relationship with God. This does not mean you personally don’t have that relationship; it could be that a spiritual tie, relationship in which you have encountered through life is the heaviness pulling on you. You may need to be an intercessor for this person, the one who steps in the gap on their behalf in the spiritual. You may even need to let some things go and quit holding on to some relationships or spiritual ties. Ask God to release you from the state of depression you are feeling. In the physical you must surround yourself with positive people who have an upbeat spirit who are filled with joy, a person who is in good relationship with God or one who can be an intercessor on your behalf. Depression is simply a spiritual sickness that we must over come. It’s time to drop the baggage, drop the bad relationships, and rid yourself of the improper relationship.